Mistakes and Promises
by Deredithlove
Summary: Meredith centric. Angsty. MerDerDeredith of course because who doesn't love them. Please review and I'll write more! Give it a chance. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: I'm definitely not a doctor, don't pretend to be.

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"I should go. – I'll go."

And she did go. He had had the next two days off, and, even though the hospital had paged and called him many times, he never answered. What had he done? Had he ended things? He needed to think, and he couldn't think with her around.

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"She's waking up." Izzie Stevens hurried up to her boss, Miranda Bailey, to tell her that one of her best friends, Meredith Grey, was finally awakening.

Bailey turned around, sighing heavily, "Okay. Stevens, go find O'Malley and Yang, let them know. Then – just wait out here."

Miranda had seen many cases, even rape cases. But this hit her home. This was her intern. She turned to Richard Webber before heading towards the intern's room, "You'll call him again?"

Meredith's eyes fluttered open as she entered the room. Her face was bruised, as was the rest of her body. The rape test had been positive, but luckily no diseases had been passed. She made a whimpering sound.

"Meredith." Miranda looked at her stats before grabbing the intern's hand, "Can you hear me?" She continued after seeing a small shake of her head, "Okay." She sat down in a chair that was placed by Meredith's bedside, "You were brought in two days ago. Your rape kit was positive. But you don't have any STD's or STI's. – We really need your consent to give you the emergency contraceptive. It's already been 48 hours." She squeezed Meredith's hand tighter, wishing none of this had happened.

It took a few minutes, but finally Mer responded, "No." Her eyes were closed and she slowly shook her head back and forth.

"No what Meredith?"

"No emergency contraceptive." Her words were laced with sleep.

"Meredith you should really, really do this. How could you ever—"

"I can't be pregnant, I'm on the pill."

"You know it's a precaution. It would be best if you took it anyway."

"If I were to be," She took a deep breath, steadying her voice, "If I'm pregnant, then it could be," her voice broke and tears streamed down her face, "it could be Derek's." She used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears.

Miranda sighed, this was more complicated than she thought, "You, had…just come from his trailer?" She nodded her head.

Meredith nodded, unable to speak without sobbing.

"You know it would be late in your first trimester before we could to DNA testing."

She nodded again, "Where is he? –Where's Derek?" Meredith knew it was bad, Bailey wasn't answering. "Can I be alone—please?"

Bailey nodded and squeezed her hand one more time before leaving the room.

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As soon as she saw him she, figuratively, marched up to him.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?!" Cristina demanded.

"Dr. Yang," He started, "I had the past two days off."

"And you couldn't answer one damn call! She could have died." Her eyes started watering, and she knew she had to leave, before she started crying.

Derek didn't know what to think.

"Derek, something happened. I think you should sit down." Bailey was there. He nodded and sat down. "She was brought in 2 days ago Derek. Her rape kit was positive. And she refuses to take an emergency contraceptive."

"I…what…she—"

"She was _raped_. And she's fine, physically. But, you're the only one who can talk some sense into her. We've all tried. She refuses. And her 72 hours are going to be up soon."

"I, uh…I don't know what to say to her. I was mad at her. She left. She's probably still mad at me." He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. What had happened?

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Okay, chapter 1. Is it any good? I love reviews. I didn't plan to post this until I finished it, but I wanted to know if it was good before I wrote my heart out. Please review. It will make my day. And my days have been pretty shitty lately.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own, yadda yadda.

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"Where's Stevens?" Bailey asked her remaining 3 interns as they followed behind her, on their way to do rounds.

"Meredith's a very clean person. But this, is just—" George left his sentence hanging in air.

"Stupid." Cristina finished for him.

Bailey was giving them confused looks, "She sat in the shower last night for 3 hours! 3 hours! And, she wouldn't get out. She just…sat there." He let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"She almost drowned herself this morning. She was in the bathtub, and the water was past her mouth, still running. She's gone crazy."

"Yang!" Miranda shot her an evil glare.

"Right, sorry."

"She is—_coping_."

"It's just, it's been—"

"3 days. It's been 3 days since your best friend was _raped._ Do you have any idea how, how—" She left her sentence hanging though, not knowing how to finish it.

"Karev, go find Dr. Sheperd, O'Malley go with Burke, and Yang, you can go to the pit." Her tone was annoyed and she was pestered. She took a deep breath before walking away.

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"How's Dr. Grey?" Derek asked Alex Karev as he started an incision in his patient's brain.

"She _isn't_ asking for you." Alex replied as he kept looking at the area where Dr. Sheperd was working. Derek sighed.

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When Bailey entered Meredith Grey's house, the mood changed. Things felt cold. Gloomy. The atmosphere was different. As if everyone who entered the home would be doomed with misfortune. She made her way upstairs after her other intern told her where she could find Meredith.

She sat in the bathtub. Her legs pulled to her chest, water all the way to her chin. She stared at the wall, and she hadn't blinked since Bailey entered the room. She noticed that Izzie stood right outside the bathroom door, and, without looking away from Meredith, she asked Izzie, "How long has she been in there?"

"Over 2 hours. She won't get out, I tried, it's just—"

"She feels dirty." Her voice was quiet, barely heard by Izzie or Meredith. Without another word Bailey was picking up a towel from the towel rack and holding it up for Meredith to exit the water. When Meredith didn't move, but instead kept staring at the wall, Bailey crouched down, "I know. I know you feel horrible and you would like to stay in this bathtub all day, but you _can't_. And you know you can't. So you need to get out."

Moments passed before Meredith spoke, "I can't. I don't—I don't know what to do." Sobs wracked her whole body. It was the first time she really cried.

It took 40 minutes to coax Meredith out of the bathtub and into clean clothes before lying down in her bed. Izzie brought up a cup of tea, something Meredith rarely drank, but she didn't object.

Before leaving the house, two hours after she arrived, Miranda Bailey whispered 4 words to Izzie Stevens, "Take care of her."

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Wow, reviews were awesome! I did_ not_ expect that many. So, thank you! I would have updated sooner, but I had 2 reasons:

1) I wrote this chapter, but it turned out I wanted to use it as chapter 3

2) My horribly annoying older brother and sister were here this weekend. They hate me being on this computer. And they were in this room all the time. I can't write in front of people.

So, yeah, enough excuses. I know, I know, it's short. But please, bear with me. It will get longer. It's not really gotten into the plot yet. This is all set-up. In my mind, this would be at the high point already, but then it would be over in 3 chapter! So, no, I'm writing this the hard way.

Anyways, enough ramble. Please review again. I love them. I really do. So please, just drop a line, "Loved it" or "Liked it" or "Hated it". It would make my day. I promise.  Thanks for reading. 

Julia


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own it, blah, blah, blah.

A/N: Thank you very much for the reviews. This should be slightly longer. 

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"You're sure you don't want me to go with you?" Cristina asked for the 10th time this morning.

"Yes. I'm fine." Mer answered, placing her purse strap on her shoulder. But the truth was she didn't know if she was fine. It had been 3 weeks. She had to go get her bloodwork done today. To make sure she wasn't pregnant.

Meredith slipped on her shoes and opened the front door, looking back at Cristina once more. "You're sure?" She asked once more.

"Yeah –I'm sure." Meredith said before shutting the door and stepping out to the cold Seattle air.

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Derek hadn't talked to her in 3 weeks. She hadn't been back to the hospital, and none of her friends would speak (except work related) to him. He hadn't been sleeping well, he was too worried. When he saw her that day, walking off the elevator, her eyes were red. She had either been crying, or not sleeping well, or both. She was wearing her 'Dartmouth' shirt, the one she never wore outside of the house, and her light blue jeans.

She didn't see him though. She turned and walked into an office.

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"Dr. Bailey?" Meredith asked as Miranda walked into the exam room. Bailey didn't answer though, just squeezed Meredith's hand as she sat down.

"Hello Dr. Bailey." Dr. Williams said to Miranda. Bailey nodded and put a small smile on her face. "A nurse will be here in a few minutes to take your blood."

A few minutes later, a nurse walked into the room and started to take Meredith's blood.

Meredith turned to Bailey and whispered, "You don't have to be here. I'm fine."

"Shut up Grey, you're not fine."

The nurse finished, "Okay Dr. Grey, we'll call you with the results in a few days."

"No." Bailey started. "No, you will get those results today. Right now. Now go!"

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"Derek." Derek sat, his head in his hands, in the gallery of Dr. Burke's surgery.

"What?" He asked, as Addison sat down next to him.

"Nothing." They sat in silence, "How's Meredith?"

Derek let out a small chuckle, "I wouldn't know."

"You haven't talked to her?"

He sighed, "No."

"She's scared Derek."

Derek didn't say anything, "What if—?"

"What if what?"

"What if she's never the same?"

Addison sighed, "She'll get through this Derek. She's strong. And she loves you. You know that. She just…needs time." The sound of her pager rang through the room, "Bye Derek."

He nodded his goodbye, and sighed again, "Time."

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"I wonder how Mer's appointment went."

"I hope she's okay."

"She's not okay Cristina."

"I know that—Don't you think I know that?"

"You four, shut up.—Yang go find a surgery. Stevens go to the clinic. And you—go with her. Karev, you can come with me today."

"Has she gotten her results yet?" Alex asked after the other 3 interns had walked away.

Bailey sighed, "No, _you're_ going to get them right now. Do_ not_ open them Karev."

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Meredith sat in the waiting room, wringing her fingers together. She had been waiting for over an hour. Her foot tapped against the floor, causing other people to look up from their magazines to give her an evil glare. She smiled apologetically before looking back down at her hands.

"Hey."

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I just got your labs," Meredith's eyes got big, "Bailey's looking them over, she told me to come get you."

"Oh."

Her hands were fiddling with her watch, and he grabbed her hand "Don't worry Grey, it's okay."

A nurse came and took them to a conference room where Bailey and Dr. Williams waited. Bailey's face was grim, and Meredith already knew what the results were.

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Wow, I wanted to update this a week ago. But (EXCUSES), my brother's car got broken, and he had to stay back home for this entire time. He finally went back to his apartment today. So, yeah.

About chapter: I really wanted the Derek and Addison talking thing. I'm really going to try to update a lot sooner. School is almost over. 2 more days. But I probably won't update until Wednesday or Thursday because I have to study for…finals. Boo. 

So, please review.  I love them. I'm also thinking of starting another story. I've written part of it.

Like it?

Hate it?

Please let me know!

Julia

** end ramble **


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